Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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