Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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