I forgot how hot balto sounded
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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