He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
