3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
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Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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