Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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