she looked like the before picture.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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