no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
