Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize