We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
