So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
