Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
