Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
