he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
