you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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