Sponge bath it is.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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