where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
