My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
