Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
