dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I want a musical about memes.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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