Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
