pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
