i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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