On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
