we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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