You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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