so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
