I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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