His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
