I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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