He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
