her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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