She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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