His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
