Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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