I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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