mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
