Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
