Whod you bang
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
