Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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