I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
