I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
