Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
