I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
