Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
