So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
