sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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