I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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