I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
