You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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