awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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