No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
