If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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