You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
