They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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