no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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