K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
