Are we in a gay sports bar?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
