Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
