masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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