where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
