Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
