let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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