Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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