shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
